You said she was your first love
You chuckled at the mere stupidity of it,
but I saw the way your eyes drew dark when you looked at her.
You said I was pretty
You almost said beautiful,
but I saw you mentally going back to when I was tear stained with swollen lips. The other girls were beautiful, I was just pretty.
You said “will you go to homecoming with me?”
You wanted to wear black,
but I saw why when you slipped in the dark corner trying to fade into the nothingness. But babe, I still saw you.
You said you were a broken person
You listened to the doctor as he explained your fractured wrist and burst appendix,
but I saw the shattered heart underneath that hospital gown.
You said your dad hit you
You laughed afterwards,
but I thought I saw something of sadness or expectation in your eyes.
You said you loved me
You said it with such sincerity,
but I saw the way you joked about it with your friends.
You said you were sick of people
You texted me late at night all your insecurities,
but I saw something different in you. A patched heart that was ripping at the seems.
You said me taking Fashion Design was silly
You joked about how I could sew your buttons on when we grew old,
but I saw you secretly saying “maybe you could sew me back together.”
You said costumes were stupid
You never wore one on Halloween that year,
but I saw the imperfections hidden beneath your skin. They didn’t bother me.
You said you would fuck this up
You wouldn’t let me convince you differently,
but I saw the trembling in your lips. I kissed them until they were steady.
You said you were sad
You finally had told me,
but I saw you walking out and closing the door.
I chose to leave it be, maybe that was wrong of me.
You said we could still be friends
You may of meant it,
but I saw the way your sad blue eyes avoided me.
You said I was a bitch
You argued with me,
but I saw regrets flare with your nostrils.
You said you didn’t hate me
You said you were just giving me a hard time,
but I saw the desperate words spill out of your mouth.
You didn’t hate me, you hated you.
You said you were moving
You said nobody liked you,
but I saw the way the girls looked at you.
Your empty eyes couldn’t understand their full ones.
I said that you could move all you wanted but you couldn’t run from yourself
I was right, but you never believed anything I said.
Because if you did, you wouldn’t have left me after I said I was still in love with you.
But I had forgotten you can’t love someone until you love yourself.”